Dealing with resistance
Trying to make changes in your life, be that professionally or personally can often be difficult particularly if other people are involved.
Trying to make changes in your life, be that professionally or personally can often be difficult particularly if other people are involved.
If people do not understand why the change is needed or the purpose behind it, they can often be resistant to the changes you are trying to make. One of the most common reasons people oppose change is because of fear, but this also may be down to low trust issues, poor communication, or an unwillingness to change the status quo.
Resistance often occurs as an immediate defensive response to change. In a group setting people can often take sides or positions with those they have trust in, which means they can also become resistant rather quickly which can be incredibly frustrating if you are presenting a new idea which you think might help.
Remember, that when you are faced with resistance there is opportunity to engage in a conversation and build understanding of both perspectives and opinions and you can often help colleagues find the positive parts in both. In this blog, we look at how you can deal with resistance and move a conversation forward.
We’ve also already published a blog about behavioural change and the COM-B model which you may also find useful when it comes to overcoming barriers to change. Read this by clicking here.
Guidance on dealing with resistance
- Pause
Give yourself time to consider verbal and non-verbal communication and avoid an ‘instinctive response’. Responding immediately can make people feel empathy towards the person resisting or make people feel like people cannot challenge new ideas. - Listen
Listen not only to what a person is saying, but how they are saying it. Are there deeper messages between the lines? – Use active listening skills to think about what is being said and not being said. - Coaching skills
If you are only being told part of the story, find out more information by asking further questions. Don’t assume you understand reasons for resisting make sure you ask and listen to their response. Using skills from our helping and humble enquiry blog may help you get the information you need. You may also find tipping the bucket a useful skill. - Respond
After finding out further information and giving some time to process this you now have the opportunity to respond. An effective way to respond is using reflection. This shows you understand their perspective but will help you reframe and move the conversation forward.
Using reflection
Reflection can be a useful tool to help overcome resistance. It helps reflect back what a person is saying to give them an opportunity to think about what they have just said, explore their perspective in more detail and gives opportunities to correct misinterpretations and reframe conversations.
When using reflection successfully, you should aim to:
- Be clear and concise
- Not seek to change the content of the original statement or challenge this
- Identify the essential meaning the person wanted to get across
- Be non-adversarial and do not add confrontation
- Do not provide an instinctive response
Below is a video which outlines some examples or how reflection can be used to move conversations forward.
If you have any questions about how to overcome resistance or getting involved in the Flow Coaching Academy programme, please get in touch with the team
If you found this article helpful, you may also find the following piece about changing behaviours and the COM-B model useful.
